Intimacy coaching for spiritual and sensitive people in long-term relationships who want to deepen their intimacy.
“True intimacy requires vulnerability: the willingness to show your true self even if you’re not sure how that self will be received.” – Brené Brown
When we’ve been with someone long enough, the “spark” fades. We feel disconnected. Our buttons get pushed and we get triggered by our partners.
We withdraw. Blame.
We blame each other and feel like victims of circumstance.
We think we’re in the wrong relationship, because we believe the right relationship should be easy.
Add to that baggage we carry from previous relationships and past experiences plus an endless barrage of (unrealistic) external expectations.
It’s no wonder we feel unfulfilled in our relationships.
And it’s no wonder emotional and sexual intimacy feel challenging, or even absent.
Sometimes we daydream about leaving our relationship to find the next relationship, hoping and believing that somehow the next one will be better. That we’d feel a deep intimate connection and have better sex, if only we had a different partner.
If we stay, we settle for things as they are because, well, that’s just the way it is. It’s just what happens in long-term relationships. We grow apart. Feel disconnected. Unhappy. Unsatisfied. Sex is routine, or happens infrequently, if at all. We’re afraid to speak up. We sweep things under the rug and ignore them, and the pile gets bigger and bigger.
Anger and resentment grow. Apathy sets in.
Connection and intimacy fall by the wayside.
If we leave, we feel disheartened when we eventually discover that the same patterns rear their ugly heads. So we again daydream about leaving. About finding the next relationship. Because being with someone else will solve everything. And repeat.
We feel frustrated. Angry. Hopeless. Unhappy. Unworthy. Resentful. Bitter.
We resolve that this IS just the way it is.
And, with a heavy sigh, we feel defeated.
We feel afraid to be vulnerable, because we don’t know how our vulnerability will be received. In the past, our vulnerability hasn’t been received well. It may have even been used against us. We haven't received the vulnerability of others well and we’ve used it against them.
So we close ourselves off.
We build barriers to intimacy.
And we still crave deeply intimate relationships with our partners.
We don’t know how to be truly intimate.
Yet.
That’s where I come in.
I’m Dr. Heidi Orr (she/her). I’m a trauma-informed sex, love, and relationship coach. A scientist with a PhD. And deeply spiritual. I feel passionate about helping sensitive and spiritual people in long-term relationships who want to feel more emotional and physical intimacy.
I believe relationships are for growth and healing.
The potential growth in relationships goes deeper than any work we can do on our own.
Those triggers? Pushed buttons? It can feel annoying AF when those rear their ugly heads. We might even blame our partners for being assholes. Maybe they are assholes, so there’s that.
But…what if…
What if our interactions with our partners are serving us? What if they’re drawing our attention to areas where we could benefit from healing? What if, in those annoying AF moments, our partners are actually our best allies for our growth?
I help couples become allies on their spiritual path to a deeper soul-to-soul connection by providing them with keys to unlocking intimacy.
As a certified VITA™️ coach, your sessions will be driven by your relationship desires and uncovering and integrating obstacles to your desires rather than focus on what’s going wrong.
Curious?